if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
