They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
