At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
