i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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