Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize