I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
