____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
