I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
