so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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