Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
