I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
