i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
