smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
