But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
