But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
