My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
