Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
