drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
