i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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