found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
