I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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