Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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