I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
