currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
