Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
