Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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