Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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