Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
