You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
