marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Randomize
