Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
