What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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