Farmville is her only friend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the raccoons are back...
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