There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
