There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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