Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
