By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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