dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
