Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
