If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it glows. i had to have it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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