and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
