If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
