your room smells of hookers.
And success
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
