I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dicks are not precious.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
