when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
