You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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