I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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