I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
smell my finger.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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