His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
