I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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