just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
